Monday, December 12, 2005

SSS but not lack of SEX

I've been thinking about SSS lately and the resultant Single Sock. I've also been thinking about SEX, but that is another post.*

I'm a newer sock knitter. I really enjoy the process as well as the finished project. I have finished 4 socks, of these four socks I only have one pair. Math problem? No, I'm a good little Scientist who Does not Use her formal Math Education for Anything other than Knitting and Balancing Budgets. One retro rib sock, one Dorchester Yarn sock (sidenote: the second will be finished soon), and two red sox. Hmmm, that leaves one sock that is without a partner in life and worse, a foot to wear them. A Single Sock.

Some of the less conventional among us may decide that the defintion of a pair of socks would read something like this:

Pair of socks
origin**: the word sock is derived from the Latin word succous which was then bastardized by those Old English Norman Invaders to sukkos, and finally twisted into socke by the Middle English Shakespearan crew, ed. note: the irony of the similarity between succous and what I yell when the sock pisses me off is not lost on me)
def: A pair of socks are nothing more than two sock shaped objects that fit on each of one's feet. Matching color sceme optional.

Unfortunately the sock knitter who suffers from SSS but not lack of SEX may not know someone who defines a pair of socks with such a loose definiton. Someone who throws caution to the wind and runs willy nilly through the world with two different color feet. Fortunately for me I have a sister who does.

My little sister is a soul unto herself (does this sentence even mean anything? It certaily sounds like it should.) The Sister is intent on creating her own little revolution limited to the confines of her feet. To her it represents a giant middle finger to social conventions, the 40 hour work week, and the "you must look semi normal to succeed in the world" axiom (I choose to listen to the Beastie Boys while dressed in a suit, we all have our revolutions.) The Sister has all of the semi-normal stuff working...until you get to her feet.

I love her feet and want to wrap them in socky hand knit yarn goodness. However, I cannot do it alone.

If you are a sock knitter who suffers from SSS but not lack of SEX and you are without a friend/family member/partner who exhibits reckless behavior with their foot coverings please, do not fret. The Bookish Girl has come to the rescue:

If you have a single sock without a home and, due to SSS, is unable to fulfill its true purpose in life please feel free to donate the Single Sorry Sock to the cause. Leave a comment, remembering that unless you list an email I can't find you, or email me at bookishwendy at gmail dot com (replace the at and dot with the appropriate symbols, eliminate the spaces and wham! you have my email address) and I will send you a self addressed stamp envelope to transport the sock safely and effortlessly. The Sister is not a knitter but will love any and all socks that come her way with reckless abandon (size 7.5-8 shoe) regardless of the socks wonkyness or lack of wonk. Furthermore, I will not have to brave the crowds to find a Holiday Gift which will leave me with more time to knit my heart out. For that, I will be forever grateful.

If you have someone in your life that subscribes to the alternate definition of socks or perhaps someone who just needs a little rebellion in their life I would encourage you to gift your single sock away. It will surely be well loved and you will feel so much better knowing that your SSS did not prevent a Single Sock from reaching its full potential.

* I love the warning on this definition. Those knitters are a wild bunch.

** Origin from Wikipedia please note that this article has sub-headings such as, "Criticisms" and "Socks in Popular Culture". I love Wiki)

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Blogger Wanda said...

Hey, I've got one single sock knit in dk weight that I have no desire to knit the second mate of. If you want them for your sister, I'd be happy to send it on.

12/12/2005 3:05 PM  
Anonymous elisa said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...

unfortunately, i have no single socks for your sister. i have a few half completed socks, but those won't aid her rebel yell...

12/12/2005 3:55 PM  
Blogger Carole said...

Sorry, dude, but I've never succumbed to SSS.

12/12/2005 4:55 PM  
Anonymous Laurie said...

Not sure which I like better..the idea of soliciting for single socks, or the ad for same in the blogpost. I hope (pray) that SSS is a transient disorder in the Etherknitter household. I currently have no contributions, but what a great out in case I do!

12/13/2005 7:40 AM  
Anonymous Samantha said...

Did you know, some places actually sell socks in sets of 3 now? Truly- none match but all "coordinate" and you can mix, match, etc., and even lose one and still be okay. perhaps Sister would be all over these? Perhaps instead of pairs you can start knitting sock in threes?

12/13/2005 11:12 AM  
Blogger Kathy said...

No single socks here, but I'm cracking up at the ad!

12/13/2005 6:46 PM  
Anonymous Kat said...

I've got an anklet for your sister, will that do? I gifted away the yarn that I was using so the mate will never be made.

12/13/2005 9:10 PM  
Blogger Jennifa said...

For some reason (or maybe I've been watching too many Rankin/Bass cartoons for the season) I'm thinking of an "Island of Unpaired Socks".

12/15/2005 2:20 PM  

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