Monday, May 22, 2006

Mini, Come on Down!

The poop yarn?

I threw it out. There was no way that was going into my tub to get washed. Blech.

In the interest of full disclosure - that is not the first time I have been a bird's target. In fact, it was the 4th. Go figure. According to many of you - I must be really really lucky.

The second time was actually pretty amusing.

It was 1998, I had graduated from college. With all of my earthly possessions loaded in my car I drove into Washington, D.C. to start a internship at a national park. A time of transition. Of freedom. There is nothing like fitting ALL of your life into a car and starting out in a new place. I was definitely feeling great, the sun was shining and my windows were open. I hit the beltway (the big circle highway around D.C.) and flew through traffic at about 60mph. A loud noise startled me and I felt wet. I looked to the center of my car and realized -

A bird had crapped and somehow managed to target me, inside my vehicle, through my sunroof, going 60mph. The physics there are completely mindbending. Don't even try to figure it out. Just know - at that speed bird crap splatters EVERYWHERE.


And now a word from Mr. Bookish,


Aside from that time I was lost in the woods and had to survive on grubs for 9 days… picking the winner of the WET WOOL FEST 2006 PRIZE is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Man, yall are good!

If I had read all of these BEFORE the event (like I was supposed to), I would have taken Rycrafty’s sage advice, snuck in behind the Bookish Girl and picked up a few of those fawned-over items and held them back for future birthdays, etc. But I am a dumb-ass. (Thanks for the heads-up Ry!)

I was genuinely impressed with all responses (Katie Couric, Cute knitter chicks, but you can’t go home with everything you see, sexual favors… haw!). But thank God I DIDN’T read these before the event… because with a little hindsight, it’s clear which response I HAVE to choose.

And with these words:

“He can coast for at least ONE MONTH on this....forgot to take out the trash? "but I went to NHS&W!". Don't want to sit through a "chick flick" "but I went to NHS&W!" It can be used oh so many ways…”

I crown Mini the winner and my newest bestest friend. Let’s just hope there’s at least one back rub in all of this somewhere… or at least one forgiven hang-over.

God bless you Mini… and God bless America!

(The broken arm, crazy guitar synthesizers, beers, tequila and more beers, and torrential downpour stories will have to wait another day.)



The Mini referred to is Ms. Minestrone Soup. Girl, send me your address and I promise to mail this (sometime in the next decade):

Sock Yarn from Dorchester Farms. One of my favorite festival vendors. His sense of color is right up my alley. Usually a bit different from the normal hues you find.

And the broken arm that Rob "claims" to have? It's not broken, it's barely bruised. Unfortunately his arm had a run in with my hand. Poor Robby....

In other interesting news.... many of us (myself included) get endless hours of amusement from reviewing the google search terms that get people to our site. My new favorite one just appeared within the last 24 hours:

"girls who fart with there [sic] pants off"

Oh yah. That's me.

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Blogger Lucia said...

OK, so I didn't win. I plan to coast for quite a while on having one of my submissions mentioned, however.

Congrats, Mini!

(Wendy, all I can say is you are a Wonder Poop Attractant.)

5/23/2006 9:18 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

Think of the great search terms you'll get from that bird poop story!

5/23/2006 9:32 AM  
Blogger Mini said...

Oh. My. God. I never win ANYTHING!

Mr.Bookish, I made that suggestion b/c my very own PC does the same darn thing... puts up with sheep/wool/etc and i , in turn, provide reflexology hand rubs and watch movies that involve swords. I am glad I am your new bestest friend. This is great! I am so excited! But, I can't seem to email Ms. Bookish (broken email link?)
I'm kskaare at gmail dot com

:) YAY!!!!

:) Mini (Kate)

5/23/2006 11:02 AM  
Blogger Fannie Pie said...

I think that google seach phrase should be part of your blog's new description...

A blog about knittin', readin', listenin', watchin', doin', and just a fartin' with my pants off!

I dare ya!

I love to check the searches on my stat counter too... it's amazing what folks are looking for!

5/23/2006 11:18 AM  
Blogger CynCyn said...

Rob def. picked a good one! I can't believe you've had FOUR random encounters with bird poop. It's like you have a target on the top of your head! And... which post did that google search lead to?

5/23/2006 11:27 AM  
Blogger maryse said...

joe's been telling everyone that he went to the NHSW with me as penance.

i have a poop story. i had a friend in highschool, lewis. he told me a story where he was sitting with his parents in an outdoor cafe and his mom was chewing him out. and a bird flew by and pooped in her coffee. big old "plop."

kind of took the sting out of being chewed out by mom.

5/23/2006 2:19 PM  
Blogger Danielle said...

Oh gawd, I don't know what the funniest part of the post was, but I hope I don't have to explain why I am sitting in my cube at work and giggling!

5/24/2006 3:39 PM  
Blogger Knitting Painter Woman said...

Yipes... I can't believe how much I missed in the past week or so. You went on hiatus, so I quit reading and then BLAM... bird poop, pantied farting, broken limbs (poor Rob), and a terrific quiz. Hope the remaining skeins of yarn are useful. Perhaps poopy yarn can be cut and distributed for poopy-bird nests. There's no redemption for pantied farting in my book.

Way to go girl.
When do we get to hear the broken arm story?

5/25/2006 3:09 PM  
Anonymous Laurie said...

Uhhhhhh...did I miss that post?

5/25/2006 7:46 PM  
Blogger Lorette said...

I missed the fart post, too. Just think of all the referrals you are going to get out of the bird poop posts.

5/26/2006 11:56 PM  
Blogger Earin Marybird said...

Giving us the poop on the poop. Hmmm. I can't say I've ever had your luck with being nailed by a bird while driving. Or being nailed by a bird at anytime. Does stepping in dog doo or cat vomit around the house count at all? Does this make you an overachiever? : - )

5/27/2006 5:58 PM  
Blogger Peevish said...

mmm... bird poop... is there anything it can't do?

5/28/2006 7:03 PM  

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