Mini, Come on Down!
I threw it out. There was no way that was going into my tub to get washed. Blech.
In the interest of full disclosure - that is not the first time I have been a bird's target. In fact, it was the 4th. Go figure. According to many of you - I must be really really lucky.
The second time was actually pretty amusing.
It was 1998, I had graduated from college. With all of my earthly possessions loaded in my car I drove into Washington, D.C. to start a internship at a national park. A time of transition. Of freedom. There is nothing like fitting ALL of your life into a car and starting out in a new place. I was definitely feeling great, the sun was shining and my windows were open. I hit the beltway (the big circle highway around D.C.) and flew through traffic at about 60mph. A loud noise startled me and I felt wet. I looked to the center of my car and realized -
A bird had crapped and somehow managed to target me, inside my vehicle, through my sunroof, going 60mph. The physics there are completely mindbending. Don't even try to figure it out. Just know - at that speed bird crap splatters EVERYWHERE.
And now a word from Mr. Bookish,
I SPENT TWO DAYS IN THE FREEZING RAIN AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY BROKEN ARM (or How I Survived Wet Wool Fest 2006).
Aside from that time I was lost in the woods and had to survive on grubs for 9 days… picking the winner of the WET WOOL FEST 2006 PRIZE is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Man, yall are good!
If I had read all of these BEFORE the event (like I was supposed to), I would have taken Rycrafty’s sage advice, snuck in behind the Bookish Girl and picked up a few of those fawned-over items and held them back for future birthdays, etc. But I am a dumb-ass. (Thanks for the heads-up Ry!)
I was genuinely impressed with all responses (Katie Couric, Cute knitter chicks, but you can’t go home with everything you see, sexual favors… haw!). But thank God I DIDN’T read these before the event… because with a little hindsight, it’s clear which response I HAVE to choose.
And with these words:
“He can coast for at least ONE MONTH on this....forgot to take out the trash? "but I went to NHS&W!". Don't want to sit through a "chick flick" "but I went to NHS&W!" It can be used oh so many ways…”
I crown Mini the winner and my newest bestest friend. Let’s just hope there’s at least one back rub in all of this somewhere… or at least one forgiven hang-over.
God bless you Mini… and God bless America!
(The broken arm, crazy guitar synthesizers, beers, tequila and more beers, and torrential downpour stories will have to wait another day.)
The Mini referred to is Ms. Minestrone Soup. Girl, send me your address and I promise to mail this (sometime in the next decade):
Sock Yarn from Dorchester Farms. One of my favorite festival vendors. His sense of color is right up my alley. Usually a bit different from the normal hues you find.
And the broken arm that Rob "claims" to have? It's not broken, it's barely bruised. Unfortunately his arm had a run in with my hand. Poor Robby....
In other interesting news.... many of us (myself included) get endless hours of amusement from reviewing the google search terms that get people to our site. My new favorite one just appeared within the last 24 hours:
"girls who fart with there [sic] pants off"
Oh yah. That's me.