*Sigh*

Yes, it feels better having said it. It feels even more better (?) to have you all "at-my-back". The Internet is a weird place.

I'm off to D.C. for a busy-ness trip. I will likely be unable to blog. I am bringing my camera in hopes that I'll be able to do another photo-album for you all.

Elisa is my roomie. I love having Elisa as a roomie. Maybe I'll run into some other bloggers? Who knows.

Thank you all again. You have made me feel incredibly calm.

The question that turned into a brain dump.

I have been tagged by the Sultry Painter Woman. She's like me to state 20-random things about myself. Somehow this started a flood for me. I've been wanting to write about some things that have been happening in my family. But, it's been hard for me to get started. Apparently this free form flow thing worked for me. I will share it with you here with the understanding that comments are not necessary. I love good loving and support but I am not a chicken little type person, I do this for myself...

1. I am sometimes sad and VERY ANXIOUS
2. It took me a long time to realize that I couldn't fix the sad or the anxious all by myself
3. My family has a history of depression, mental illness, and substance abuse.
4. My brother tried to commit suicide four months ago. It was his first attempt but not his last.
5. This is hard for me to talk about in such a public place.
6. I am a very open person and feel that honesty is the best policy. As I get older I tend to hide things from myself and others more often.
7. I hate that.
8. This is a tricky forum because I don't want to hurt anyone in my family but I think it hurts me more to hide it away.
9. One of my best friends came up to me a few weeks ago and said, "I'm so sorry I haven't said anything about your brother. I haven't only because I don't know what to say. I now feel awful about that."
10. She couldn't have said it to a more understanding person. I never know what to say and so I usually remain quiet and seep in guilt.
11. That is what is happening with my brother and I right now.
12. I can't change it right now.
13. He has a history of hurtful practices. To himself and to his family members.
14. I'm not ready to forget or forgive.
15. This is incredibly sad and hard to feel.
16. I once read that the sign of an intelligent person is the ability to feel two contradictory feelings at the same time.
17. I must be REALLY intelligent.
18. I hope to write more about this. For me. But also for who ever is reading and feeling the same.
19. I feel like this whole experience with my brother is straight out of a BAD tv movie
20. My parents are amazing amazing people.

Be still my pink squishy heart.

Way back in the spring I knit a cute little jacket for a baby-to-be. The babe was born in April and her beautiful sweet face graced the pages of this here blog. This baby is the baby of Gods. She is beautiful and fabulous and I want to eat her (she is that cute.) I'm in love with her. I can only imagine what her parent's must feel.


Back to the knits. I have made it a habit to knit my baby stuffs a few sizes bigger than newborn size. What size do I knit? Don't know - I don't do a gauge swatch for my baby knits. Waste. of. time. They will fit into it eventually. That's the beauty of a baby knit.


Eventually has come for the Neala bean. She is the first to fit into my baby knits. I swear, there is no better feeling than seeing a small thing wrapped in your lovingly constructed garment. I knit this especially for her while she floated around in the tum tum. Neala was conceived just before Rob's and my wedding. Her parent's found out they were pregnant just before they left the hotel to attend our wedding ceremony. Neala was there in her little simple cell structure; waiting to burst onto the scene that is now her life. There are no words to describe the wonder of that little bean there then and here now, in something that I MADE!

**Thank you, thank you for all of the comments on the sock. I am a total goober - and I'm a bit sore today from all that bending. Whew. I gots to hit to Yoga mat or something! The real picture (pre-photoshop) was a bit more pornographic than the published. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "birds eye view."**

Crazy Person (or, I Swear I Was Normal before Rhinebeck)

You all were right. I just have to learn to flow with the go.

Check out these puppies



Aren't they rad? I've been walking around the house with one on one foot and a different sock on the other. The foot in the store bought sock was feeling left out so I did a switch-er-oo and viola! It’s not anymore.

I have to wait a bit to cast on for the second. My wrist is a bit sore.

Details - One sock in less than a week. Size 3 needles, 7 sts/in...spot on gauge, yarn described in previous post. Pattern from Ann Budd's Pattern Book - which is it? I did a Picot Edge at the top. This was done to keep the color change consistent throughout. Ribbing the top (for her pleasure) did nothing for me.


Here's a better picture of the colors (ribbed, pre-frog):



Be careful, this is what crazy sock yarn will do to you...



A self-portrait for you.

Here's another:




Yay socks...

We regret to inform you...

....that the Bookish Girl has been consumed by her new sock project.


She was last seen pulling her hair out and screaming something along the lines of, "But it's variegation produces stripes when 26 sts are cast on, why not when 52 sts are cast on?!"


Last we checked (86 million times in the past hour) she was knitting to the gauge specified on the hand painted yarn's label. The yarn, produced by Dorchester Farms (no web site?), is Geor-gie-ous. While the Bookish Girls questions how a farm could ever exist in Dorchester, a large neighborhood of the metropolis Boston, she chooses to suspend disbelief. After all Marky Mark was bred and raised there. He even had a HORRIBLY INCONSISTENT Boston accent in the Perfect Storm. Clearly, stranger things have happened.


Undeniably The Bookish Girl was a bit unstable before this current sock event. Shit-Com Chic?! The Bookish Girl Tee?! They were all signals that she was on the verge of being eaten by her knitting. We can assure you that she has resigned herself to the wanton self-patterning craziness of this particular yarn colorway and is completely in love. We are satisfied that she has worked through her initial hysteria and moved on to obsession. She will surely be "back to normal" (obviously a relative state for this lady) when the sock is completed and the mystery of the variegation pattern has properly revealed itself. At this point in time Mr. Bookish has threatened that he, "May wear them when she is not around." in spite of their lovely Picot edge and pinky/ corrally /blacky colors. The man needs a sock of his own to love.


Until our faithful super hero friend returns please take a gander at this site:


Terra Pass - where you can give money to an environmental organization that works to offset the CO2 emission and subsequent environmental degradation of your HUGE AMERICAN CAR.


Ignoring the request to even take a moment to consider the impact we each have on the environment will surely lead the Bookish Girl to rant Phil. about the state of our earth.


We wouldn't want that.


Trust us.

TGKWB

Last night I travelled from my fair city to the 'burbs of Acton, MA. I've loved living in Boston but being out in the open makes me want to breath in the "country" air and leave the city, forever. The trip only takes about 45 minutes. Add in a few harrowing moments on the expressway while I try to stuff my face with Shredded Wheat (dinner) AND talk on the cell phone (catching up) and you've got a seat gripping experience. I'm not so smart sometimes.

I was motivated by the destination. Stephanie, the Yarn Harlot, would be there. Kathy and I had been discussing this event for a few weeks. I almost showed up LAST Tuesday. Wouldn't that have been a blast?! I figured Kathy would be the only one that I knew. Then Debbie piped in that she would be there. Phew, two people that I knew.

Little did I know that The Gaggle of Knitters Who Blog (TGKWB) would be there. I walked in and spotted Kathy right away. Kathy had sent me her Lawyer Picture earlier in the day. She looked very lawyerly in the picture. In real life, well, she looks like a normal person. I lean over the bookcase to tap her on her shoulder and I see Claudia's back...a closer look and Laurie's back is there too....an even closer look and there is Kristen's back....and then I feel movement to my side. Kellee is there. And Kathy introduces me to Carole, and then Claudia introcudes Sandy. And Kellee and I spot Debbie.

And suddenly I am surrounded by friends. Again.

TGKWB may change depending on the day, the location, and the time. But one thing is for sure, no matter who is present in person - There will be laughing.

I mean, the cheese is so cheesy here you might think I'm a mouse or something.


Am I the only one that found the item to the right of Stephanie's head a happy accident? I couldn't stop giggling.


Debbie may try to tell you that we went out for Drinky Drinks. Actually, we went out for Drink. See the sign, "Steaks, Seafood, Sandwiches, and Drink." Singular.

A meter for Peter.

So, I just wrote this great post with all the pictures I took and great stories and great everything. And I lost it.


Gone.


Okay, I lied a bit. I did write a great post. However, there were no pictures. This is due to one simple fact. I didn't take any. Well, I took four. Four pictures that suck.


So, I spent the better half of my lunch hour linking to my funny fiber blogging friends who travelled to NY State. I did tell funny stories. But they're gone now, eaten by the internet.


Go see the other funny fiber gals for the fun. If you shake a stick (or just do a google search) you'll hit a whole gaggle of them AND you'll see some glimpses of the Bookish Girl.


So, here's a picture. My first self-portrait Tuesday.

Me snuggling with my honey.





On another note.
(This is going to kill the Google searchers out there trying to get some porn action.)


Has anyone ever seen a measuring tape of the same genre as this, that have a little pee-wee instead of a Pinocchio nose? It is apparently referred to as a Peter Meter. However, a google search has yielded something a bit different than what I was looking for. We discussed this measuring tape this weekend and I think it is just about the funniest thing. Ann said, "Yeah but it only measures 6 inches." and then Cara said, "Even though it says 6 it actually is 4 inches."


See what I mean about the love and the LAUGHING?! There was a lot of laughing.


Johanna has seen one in person (was Dani there too?), she was the source of the original story.


I want one too!

PS - I'm going HERE tonight. Anyone else going to be there?

I hear you have a seven year wait for your wood.

My body is back from Rhinebeck. But my mind? Has anyone seen it? I seem to have LOST IT!

The weekend was fabulous.

Really.

For so many reasons, most of which transcend the blog world. I met so many lovely people, many without blogs, some with blogs that I've never read, others who I have. People were so friendly. Friendly, hugging, hilarious and ENABLING knitters. That's what happened there. ENABLING.

People who loved their craft so much so that they would utter ridiculous things like, "I was told I had to touch your wood" to a certain wheel maker.

People who uttered an evil cackle with a glint in their eye when you said, "I don't think I want to spin, but I have to admit seeing the sheep and the fiber and the finished product all in one place is a bit inspiring."

People who pick you out of the crowd and tell you how much they love what you write and enjoy your blog. Wow. That is a strange and wonderful feeling.

It was hard to place names and faces and web addresses. I'm looking at bloglines today thinking - oh, that's who that was!

However, I really didn't feel like that was the point or the focus...it truly, for me, was about meeting people (not bloggers, real life people who happen to be bloggers or happen to not blog) and supporting smaller vendors who peddle their wares for the love.

Really, it was about the love.

Sigh.

Feel the cheese running down your monitor?

Boo!

I've been working on the Bookish T-shirt. It seems that I have finished all of the lettering (thanks to the best husband who is the greatest inventor of all things invented - more on this tomorrow.)

I say seems, because, surprise, surprise, I'm not totally happy with it. This time around I have the right size and shape of each of the letters. My tension has leave something to be desired. Actually, more than something. It has leaves a whole lot of everything to be desired.

What an interesting phrase - something to be desired. It seems as though that would be a good thing. I'd like to be considered - something. to. be. desired. However, I would hate to be someone who is leaves something to be desired. Google has left me blank. Any insight on this?

ETA - Thanks Allison! Amazing what a difference one word will make (and a cup of coffee.)

Note to Self

The Bookish Girl's Christmas list:

A- Confessions of a Knitting Heretic by Annie Modesitt. This book has been recommended to me many a time. I still haven't finished reading (whatever knitting book that I'm currently reading and can't remember the name of), I think this would be a great followup.

B- Nancie Wiseman's Book of Finishing Techniques by Nancie Wiseman. I recently got this out of the library and have been paying over-due fines ever since. I can't let it go. It's a fab book.

C- Emergency Preparedness Starter Kit (via MightyGoods). The number and severity of natural disasters in the past few years has made me a bit more aware of how un-mobile we are at this point in our lives. Time to change that a bit.

D- The "New Yoga" Bag (or mug - when it comes out). The cartoon is by Knit Blogger Franklin who crack my shit up.

E- Cloth napkins, same as those made by MOM circa 1999 with fabric from Repot Depot.


Christmas is a HUGE deal in my family. My parents love the holiday and spoil us all endlessly. We (my siblings and husband) have tried to tell them that the degree to which they shower us with good cheer is totally unneccessary and that we'd be just as happy without. This is where my Mom got violent on us the first time. Under no circumstances were you going to tell THIS WOMAN that she CAN'T shower her children with gifts and good cheer. And DAMN us for even suggesting it.

So. The Christmas list is asked for early. And we oblige. It's soooo fun!!! ;)

I'm Alive!!!

So this is what I have to show for four hours of work:

The Bookish T - part deux.


I charted the existing t design. Ripped and reknit 2 ROWS!! Only two freaking ass rows.

Friggin Freakin Friggin

You can see why spending that time READING A BOOK is wayyyy more enjoyable.

PS - I just looked out the window and saw two people hugging and hugging and hugging. It made my heart smile, one of those - I'm Alive! - moments.

Have you ever had one of those?

The first time I recognized that feeling for what is was - something noteworthy and important I was living in Georgia. I was with a friend of mine driving through the edge of town. While sitting at a stop light we noticed a man in a business suit balancing his way down the rail of the train track, slowly picking up his left foot, struggling to stay on the rail. He was Alive, Living life for that minute. You had to be blind not to see it. Since then, I've always tried to make a mental note. It's easy to see it in kids...adults...well, they hide from joy too often.


So, on second thought, maybe I'm not so pissed about my "lost" evening. If it hadn't rolled that way I would have missed the hugging.

If obsessiveness were money, Bookish Girl'd be Bill Gates

I've started Book Five
(line of the day: "If breasts were money, Connie'd be Bill Gates.")

The punctuation is all Janet's.

I have a problem.

The Human Stain, Yellow Jack, The Confederacy of Dunces, Shop Girl, and Devil in the White City have all been left to languish on my night stand. It's not that I don't love you dear books, it's just that I have a SERIOUS addiction here. And the knitting? Well, we won't even discuss that.

SERIOUS

Have I mentioned my obsession with Su Doku?

The biggest news of the week - I am officially going to the NYS Sheep and Wool Festival aka. Rhinebeck. My First sheep festival. My First Road Trip with Elisa (dude, Elisa, I am so downloading the audio version of Book Seven for our trip. And yes, I will be up to that point by then (thanks for the tip Heide.) And My First time meeting all kinds of people including, these fools. I am so going to get Vicki drunk while we're there. ;)

Who else will I meet?

BRING ON THE SHARPIES!